“There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”
Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph
The goal of the Reprogrammed Systems Approach is to help us understand the human body so that we can make better decisions regarding how our decisions impact its functioning. The idea is simple: if we can understand how each decision we make impacts the functioning of the systems supporting our own bodies, then we can take aligned action to build bodies that support us through long lives of our own choosing.
The idea is simple. The practice is not always as such.
The practice I am introducing today is one that falls under this umbrella of a task that may be difficult to face; and yet, it may be the most important one for us all to think deeply about, especially in the trying times we are experiencing this year. This practice is so important because, if we can harness the ability to manage it, we will be lead away from a life that seems to be tearing us down and instead towards a life of which we have the control.
So, what is this difficult task I speaking to?
Dealing with stress – something that we are all very familiar with in these days of the Covid 19 crisis.
Stress during Covid 19
As I write this, we are well into this COVID19 pandemic. At this point, I have been social distancing for about two months. I have witnessed society turn upside down as businesses are forced to shut down (or significantly change) operations and individuals are told to stay home. Meanwhile, millions of individuals are directly impacted by the virus as it threatens their own health.
The bottom line – this is a world that has come face-to-face with one significant load of stress.
And interestingly, the response to this stress that I have witnessed has been across the board.
For some, this has been a time of total shutdown as they are paralyzed with fear or sunk down with defeat. For this group, this pandemic has been received as an open invitation to buy up all the wine, put on a hell of a lot of Netflix, and bunker down while they wait for some sense of normalcy to return.
For others, this has been an opportunity to show up in life in a new way: to be pro-active in their response – to reach out to others; to forge new bonds; to lend a hand assisting the problem in any way they know how; to create; to teach; to build; to grow.
Which brings me to ask this article’s key question: What is responsible for the difference between the two groups? That is, why do some people respond to the stresses of the world by hiding away, while others respond in a pro-active fashion?
I ask this question because I believe that if we can get clear on the answer, then we gain the potential to take control of stressful situations in our own lives – to learn how we can face any challenge with a pro-active mindset that may even lead to long-term beneficial change.
Because, after all, this is the goal of our work here with The Reprogrammed Systems Approach – to understand how we can take charge of factors in our environment (whether it’s food or any sort of obstacle) and make decisions that lead to long-term benefit to our own bodies.
This being said, let me be clear on something:
While this article speaks to the Covid 19 pandemic, this is not an article that is focused on simply getting us through the rest of the pandemic as smoothly as possible. The time has passed for the days of bunkering down and the world is ready for us to move forward as individuals who embrace the learning of important lessons and are ready to use them to create a brighter future.
This means I am not here today to focus precisely on techniques to minimize the burden of stress in your life, but rather to help you think about how you may want to approach stress in your life – to turn it into something more beneficial and less draining.
As always, this will all be done within the framework that is the overall health of the human body, along with what having a healthy body means for the greater picture that is living a good life.
From here I wish to do two things.
First, I have a practice for you to begin this series with a snapshot of how you have been handling COVID 19 so far. You can find it over here. Complete it right now or after reading the article – just make sure you actually do it within the next hour. Don’t worry, it will only take a couple of minutes and only requires paper and writing utensil.
Second, let’s spend the rest of the article walking through how we can think about stressful situations in our own lives, beginning with an understanding of how we as humans are programmed to deal with stressful stimuli, while also understanding where there may be room for conscious decision-making.
In this way, we can take the first step to taking charge of stress in our lives: developing a clear understanding of the relationship between obstacles and the human body as we begin working towards a useful answer to our key question of what is responsible for determining why some people respond to the stresses of the world by shutting down or turning away, while others respond in a pro-active fashion.
How humans deal with stressful stimuli
Us humans, like all other mammals, are creatures of habit. As we go throughout the day, our behavior is run by an immense system of neural circuits that have been programmed based on previous conditioning. Driven by specific cues in our environment and signals within our bodies, the brain does the heavy processing such that as we make our way navigating the day, automatic behaviors are produced.
Sometimes as we go about our day, we encounter something in the environment that results in a certain signal to pay attention. This “stress” signal is released to communicate to the body that there is an obstacle – something novel or challenging that we must pay strict attention to so that we can overcome it.
As is generally taught in psychology 101, the body responds in one of three ways: freeze, flee, or flight.
- Freeze – don’t move, pretend you’re not there, and hope that the obstacle removes itself
- Flee – get the hell out of there and hope that you can outrun the obstacle
- Fight – take the obstacle head-on.
What we do any time we encounter an obstacle depends on the exact situation, our current condition, and our own programmed nature. As for the first two, we may consider: how scary is the obstacle and how capable do we think we are; what are the benefits of beating the obstacle; what are the risks of failure?
As for our programmed nature – let’s look at this concept in some depth.
When a potential challenge is perceived, the brain will immediately – automatically – make a decision as to what to do. This automatic decision is based on who knows how many factors, but they all have to do with some combination of genetics and life experiences.
The bottom line is, any time a potential challenge is perceived, the body will respond based on previously established programming. This all happens along the following pathway:
- a stimulus, or obstacle, is present in the environment – this is something external that we come across as we live our lives
- the obstacle is perceived by the body and there is an internal response
- often, a lasting physiological change results in response to the pathway (adaptation – learning or growth)
A few items to note here:
First, note the difference between what is external and what is internal. The obstacle, itself, has nothing to do with the individual. The obstacle only gains significance once it is perceived by the body.
Second, note what happens internally – there is an automatic response, and this response is based on previously established programming.
Finally, a consequence of this internal response is an adaptation – a lasting change that may impact future events.
At this point, what we have is some interesting information regarding our own nature, but it doesn’t necessarily help us – at least, not directly. All we see is that there is an automatic response built on automatic programming that leads to potential changes in that automatic programming.
What would help us at this point would be understanding how we can enter into this pathway with conscious intervention.
Which brings us to the next piece of the pathway: the amazing ability of the human mind to recognize and respond.
See, we as humans are different from other animals because we have developed a cortex that allows us to think – to continue processing information after an event takes place (or, even before an event may take place).
Now, although I can easily define this human design feature as remarkable, it in of itself is not necessarily beneficial. As we are all familiar with, this ability to think about events is both a blessing and a curse.
- blessing: we can reflect, predict, and change course
- curse: we can fear the future and ruminate over past horrors
Let’s first look at the blessing side.
After the initial response that is freezing up, running away, or taking on the obstacle, we now have space to think.
- If we find ourselves frozen in space because a scary obstacle is in front of us, we have time to recognize that we are frozen, think about why we may be frozen, think about what may be a better action, and then to take that new course of action.
- If we find ourselves running away, we have time to recognize that we are running, stop and think about why we may be running, think about what may be a better action, and then to take that new course of action.
- If we find ourselves gearing up to take on a challenge, we can ask ourselves if we are truly prepared to take this on right now, or if pausing and thinking it through may be a better course of action.
Get the idea? Although we will inevitably find ourselves reacting automatically to an obstacle, we have the ability to notice the reaction, reflect on this reaction and other potential options, and then to choose again.
And this sheds light on part of an answer to this article’s key question about what differentiates those who make pro-active decisions from those who typically end up running and/or hiding.
Before getting carried away with the simplicity of the answer, let’s make sure we’re clear on exactly what it means. Note the importance of the ability to choose again. Because remember, there is a drawback to simply thinking.
Recall the curse of a human mind: the tendency to mis-think – that is, to over-think, get carried away in non-useful thoughts, ruminate, etc.
That is, one curse of the human mind is to continue to live past obstacles or to create obstacles by thinking about future events. This means that the human mind, itself, is able to create additional stress that is completely internal and outside of external factors.
For example, we can find ourselves frozen in place, only to think about the obstacle over and over again, even if the obstacle is removed (or has yet to actually be placed in front of us). Moreover, we may find ourselves attempting to run from an obstacle, only to make it follow after us only because we continue to think through it.
That is, even once the obstacle is removed, or before it actually appears, because us humans are always thinking, we can make that stress appear.
Which means we need to be careful about how we wish to approach obstacles. We don’t want to let our automatic programming run us (as we are all familiar, this often doesn’t lead us down the optimal path). Moreover, we also don’t want to just think about it all (this often simply adds more stress).
What we want is an ability to:
- recognize that an obstacle is present
- recognize that the body has responded automatically to the obstacle
- think through different options
- choose again
At this point, you are probably thinking something along the lines of: sure, this sounds all good and plenty, Katie, but how do I actually get myself to make this conscious decision when faced with a significant stressor? While we’d all like to think we can just respond in any way we’d like, the reality is very different. When stressful situation arise, it is difficult to see clearly what is happening, think through other options, and then actually get ourselves to take that new course of action.
At this point you may even be wondering why we spent all this time walking through the problem if we don’t yet have a practical solution.
In response, I’ll tell you this – I never said we have a choice that is easy to make. As a matter of fact, I opened this article by stating that the theory would be simple while the practice is the challenge.
The reality is, there isn’t a switch that we can just choose to flip one way or the other to steer us down a particular path of our choosing. And yet, if we can understand the options that we do have – that is, if we can get clear on what is potentially in our control and what is out of our control – then we move one step closer to the ability to make the wise decision.
Because of this, today, I don’t ask that you become a master manager of stress; but, what I do ask is that you put forth an effort to see the choice that exists. This means understanding that you have a human mind that is capable of recognizing what is, thinking through potential alternate courses, and taking aligned action.
Back to approaching obstacles in our lives, today
Let’s head back to the beginning of 2020, where most individuals were making their way through life without too much of a struggle. Sure, the usual life stresses would present themselves, but since we’re used to working through those, we continued on without too much upset.
And then our world was turned updside down. A pandemic arrived on our door-step and we were forced to face a new world: one that not only completely changed our day-to-day, but also came with serious threats of economic crisis and a threat to the health of our neighbors, our families, and our own selves.
That is, we were slammed with a new paradigm filled with novel and scary obstacles – many of which come with serious consequences and significant amounts of uncertainty.
And now, all that’s left is to ask what we do now, in this moment.
I can’t tell you how to respond to each obstacle to face today. But what I can do is tell you what I know about human nature.
What is going to happen in response to all of these obstacles each time they come up:
- your mind and body will respond automatically
- thoughts will arise, some of which may be useful but most of which will probably be negative
- you will begin to take action in a way that your brain automatically decides. Sometimes this response will be useful and other times it may be pointless or even detrimental
And then, what has the potential to happen:
- you can recognize these automatic responses for what they are – your body’s initial reaction
- you can then use your thoughts to think through alternate paths
- you can choose to pursue any of these alternate paths
This is the theory – the simple part.
As we continue on with this series, we will continue working on the theory so that you are crystal clear on what you, as a human being, are capable of.
We will then use this knowledge to take on the real challenge that is getting ourselves to take aligned action. Because when we can do this, then we have the power to face obstacles in a way that leaves us better versions of ourselves, and this world a better place.